I turned 40 this year. I’ve been in China four years. You’d think I would have figured out how to do life well by this time.
I find it hard to invite people over when the place is a mess. I want a clean, or at the very least, a picked up home. I don’t mind going to other people’s homes when they’re not nice and neat. I go to hang out with my friends, not to see their gorgeous home. I don’t mind moving something to sit down or seeing last week’s dishes on the counter. But when someone shows up and my apartment is like that I’m quite embarrassed. Well, in this day and age, it seems that finding routine and structure isn’t possible on many days. So, I’m trying to learn to go with the flow more. I’m trying to be ok with the fact that I don’t have it all together. I’m trying to accept that I’m never going to have it all together.