Conspicuous Family

Have you or your children had your hair stroked by strangers, had people stand and stare as you eat at a restaurant, people point and talk about you like you couldn't hear them, had a crowd gather around and watch you eat a picnic, had a row of cameras all flashing taking your picture as you attempted a quick family snapshot on a bridge, been asked multiple times in a day where you or your children are from? If you've answered yes then maybe you also are a Conspicuous Family. I first heard the term from my sister who adopted children of a different race than herself and her husband.
All those things mentioned above happen to us nearly every week. They are normal to us now. Not comfortable, but normal. My goal is to respond to the people around us in a way that my children feel safe, respected and loved, and when possible they feel I also am respecting and loving the people around us. Becoming a conspicuous family was a decision we made, but every decision has consequences. We are different. We will always be different. Learning how to deal with our differentness is not optional.

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3 Responses to Conspicuous Family

  1. Yuan says:

    I like your attitude of “since I cannot change it, might as well embrace it”. I feel the urge to apologize to you on behalf of fellow Chinese people, but it seems your kids are getting use to these, so I guess it is what it is. Just live with it I guess, different is ok.

  2. airscolor9 says:

    It must be challenging to be different from the majority. But on the other side, that could be an advantage too, if you think and act towards that- just like what you’ve done to help the kids feel loved and respected. Good job!
    If you travel to cities like Beijing, Shanghai, or Guangzhou, which are cities known for their diversity, then you will find the family is not that conspicuous any more 🙂

  3. Sheila Yoder says:

    For some reason I thought of the idea “in the world, but not of the world”….biblical I believe 🙂 There is something strong about being decidedly different from the majority. Perhaps all of us Christians need to actually look different, after all this world is not our home. I sometimes lament my choice to join the more “liberal” arm of the Mennonite church, instead of the more conservative. These conservative folks take their understanding of “not in the world” to literally mean dress and look different!! Thank you for embracing this challenge to live in a place where you LOOK different and the important part is remember too…..BE different. May your actions reflect Christ (more so than your light skin and hair, etc.)

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